The Problem with Kids Today
Apr. 15th, 2009 09:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lantairvleaI'm going to make myself sound a bit like an old coot with a title like that, but it struck me as I went in to work on my paintings yesterday. I left about two hours early so I could put some extra time on my Vanitas still life and also give me the chance to leave about 30 min. early without feeling guilty so I can catch the bus an hour early (not that most people in the class don't vanish 30 minutes early anyway...).
So while I'm painting a guy wanders in. He didn't notice me at first and when I said "good morning" I think I startled him a little bit. We started chatting a bit and talked about art and such. Apparently he was "bored" with one of his classes and took the habit of vanishing and wandering the hallways and rooms of the art school during this period.
I asked him what class he was supposed to be listening to (I assumed it was Art History or something, which also goes on in the building), he replied that he wasn't missing a lecture, but it was a digital printmaking class or something of that sort. From the sounds of it the class is about converting digitally created images to traditional printmaking media. Pretty cool if you ask me, but he expressed some recalcitrance and I queried further, wondering if perhaps the material was just a bit bland and not challenging or perhaps the instructor bad.
No, that wasn't the case, Printmaking was just "difficult" and he hated the work he did in it because he never had any good ideas to go with whatever project.
Being me, I asked if he sketched much outside of class. He said no. I exclaimed "there's your problem!" If you don't develop ideas outside of class, how can you expect to have good ones in class? He noted that he has a hard time getting motivated or being "in the mood" to draw when he doesn't have a deadline to push for. I repeated one of my favorite mantras "you can't improve if you don't do it" both in respects to his drawing and to the class he was avoiding. I also noted that sometimes you just have to slog through and do the mechanical process before the muse actually fires up and does something. You'll never produce anything if you never draw. Can't expect everything to work properly if it sits on the shelf for months or even just weeks on end.
The guy remarked that he had been a bit depressed about his art recently and some of his work is just ugly and he doesn't want to continue with it. I replied with my firm belief that a lot of drawings go through an ugly stage. Paintings too. And sometimes its those works that seem the most painful to produce that turn out the best, ugly duckling and all.
The more we talked the more I saw the picture of someone who probably wasn't going to make it as an art major unless he had a major change in attitude. His focus was Animation, which means he's shoved underneath the umbrella of "intermedia." He wants to do digital animation, which made sense as I mulled over the conversation since he expressed an intense interest in detail and making things look real. It bothered him if it didn't make the viewer wonder if it was real or not. This is something, I admit, I've "grown out of" to an extent. I know I can do it, but it just doesn't engage me like it used to. Sometimes, sure, I will do things that are superbly realistic, but really ... it just doesn't engage me like it used to, just as the art world as a whole lost interest in it at a certain point. Not that I'm going to run around painting black squares or anything, but there are more important things than making something look like a photo.
I guess my meandering point and the impression that this conversation left on me is one of worry about those coming up behind me. Heck, even those of my generation, I've seen it there too. They want the glory, but not the work. They want things to be easy and immediate and don't take pleasure in the sweat and tears that are sometimes required to produce something, be it a drawing or painting, or anything else for that matter. I see it in some of my students with the horses. They want it to be easy and any challenge placed before them is a frustration and they give up (or want to ... in the case of my students I usually push them through it). I don't know if this is just because a lot of young people have been given life on a platter, or perhaps it is just the general culture that is going around in the media and elsewhere. Everyone is entitled to their perfect house, car, and job, no effort required ... HA.
Entitlement is probably one of the biggest problems attitude-wise with people. I've seen it time and time again and it just makes you miserable. People destroy themselves trying to "keep up with the Jones'" and it is one of the reasons why the economy is and has tanked.
Somewhat related, I did manage to finish the other two dollar bill on my Vanitas. I'll probably have to glaze over it to tone down the color a bit, but it looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. Now I just have the horseshoe to do and I'm done with it. Awesome. Then I can finish my self-portrait and maybe get to that optional fifth painting.
So while I'm painting a guy wanders in. He didn't notice me at first and when I said "good morning" I think I startled him a little bit. We started chatting a bit and talked about art and such. Apparently he was "bored" with one of his classes and took the habit of vanishing and wandering the hallways and rooms of the art school during this period.
I asked him what class he was supposed to be listening to (I assumed it was Art History or something, which also goes on in the building), he replied that he wasn't missing a lecture, but it was a digital printmaking class or something of that sort. From the sounds of it the class is about converting digitally created images to traditional printmaking media. Pretty cool if you ask me, but he expressed some recalcitrance and I queried further, wondering if perhaps the material was just a bit bland and not challenging or perhaps the instructor bad.
No, that wasn't the case, Printmaking was just "difficult" and he hated the work he did in it because he never had any good ideas to go with whatever project.
Being me, I asked if he sketched much outside of class. He said no. I exclaimed "there's your problem!" If you don't develop ideas outside of class, how can you expect to have good ones in class? He noted that he has a hard time getting motivated or being "in the mood" to draw when he doesn't have a deadline to push for. I repeated one of my favorite mantras "you can't improve if you don't do it" both in respects to his drawing and to the class he was avoiding. I also noted that sometimes you just have to slog through and do the mechanical process before the muse actually fires up and does something. You'll never produce anything if you never draw. Can't expect everything to work properly if it sits on the shelf for months or even just weeks on end.
The guy remarked that he had been a bit depressed about his art recently and some of his work is just ugly and he doesn't want to continue with it. I replied with my firm belief that a lot of drawings go through an ugly stage. Paintings too. And sometimes its those works that seem the most painful to produce that turn out the best, ugly duckling and all.
The more we talked the more I saw the picture of someone who probably wasn't going to make it as an art major unless he had a major change in attitude. His focus was Animation, which means he's shoved underneath the umbrella of "intermedia." He wants to do digital animation, which made sense as I mulled over the conversation since he expressed an intense interest in detail and making things look real. It bothered him if it didn't make the viewer wonder if it was real or not. This is something, I admit, I've "grown out of" to an extent. I know I can do it, but it just doesn't engage me like it used to. Sometimes, sure, I will do things that are superbly realistic, but really ... it just doesn't engage me like it used to, just as the art world as a whole lost interest in it at a certain point. Not that I'm going to run around painting black squares or anything, but there are more important things than making something look like a photo.
I guess my meandering point and the impression that this conversation left on me is one of worry about those coming up behind me. Heck, even those of my generation, I've seen it there too. They want the glory, but not the work. They want things to be easy and immediate and don't take pleasure in the sweat and tears that are sometimes required to produce something, be it a drawing or painting, or anything else for that matter. I see it in some of my students with the horses. They want it to be easy and any challenge placed before them is a frustration and they give up (or want to ... in the case of my students I usually push them through it). I don't know if this is just because a lot of young people have been given life on a platter, or perhaps it is just the general culture that is going around in the media and elsewhere. Everyone is entitled to their perfect house, car, and job, no effort required ... HA.
Entitlement is probably one of the biggest problems attitude-wise with people. I've seen it time and time again and it just makes you miserable. People destroy themselves trying to "keep up with the Jones'" and it is one of the reasons why the economy is and has tanked.
Somewhat related, I did manage to finish the other two dollar bill on my Vanitas. I'll probably have to glaze over it to tone down the color a bit, but it looks pretty good, if I do say so myself. Now I just have the horseshoe to do and I'm done with it. Awesome. Then I can finish my self-portrait and maybe get to that optional fifth painting.
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no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 04:57 am (UTC)My brother was like that. He was, I'm reluctant to admit, a talented and relatively smart individual. He just hated not having everything handed to him on a freaking silver platter. e.e
Far too common these days. What REALLY irks me is when someone like us comes along and is ready to do the work needed to get results, and we get brushed aside on the assumption we're lazy and/or demanding of instant gratification like the rest. Bothers me greatly when that happens. Has it happened to you?
I see it in some of my students with the horses. They want it to be easy and any challenge placed before them is a frustration and they give up (or want to ... in the case of my students I usually push them through it).
LOL, my parents actually leased me my first horse on the assumption I'd give up at the first challenge. They were sorely mistaken.
That said I saw a fair number of horses basically left to rot at the barn I boarded at...some dumbarse wants a horse, parents comply, horse is bought, dumbarse finds out that actually working with a horse and learning to ride is HARD WORK...dumbarse loses interest and horse never gets any attention or work any more. e.e
One horse in particular bothered me. I was at the barn most every evening for like...seven years straight. Afternoons too once I graduated. Weekends I was either showing or, when it wasn't summer, at the barn doin' stuff. Summer weekdays I spent most of the day every other day at the barn. In ALL THAT TIME I never once saw that mare's owner. NOT ONCE. They didn't even show up for mass vet visits or for the farrier...they just expected someone else to hold their (nearly feral due to inattention) mare for them and for the vet and/or farrier to just send 'em a bill.
Disgusting.
....I'm off topic, aren't I. Sorreh.
I don't know if this is just because a lot of young people have been given life on a platter, or perhaps it is just the general culture that is going around in the media and elsewhere. Everyone is entitled to their perfect house, car, and job, no effort required ... HA.
I think a lot of kids of my own generation and this new generation are just...overly coddled. They don't get to try to succeed, they get handed success by Mommy or Daddy, and when they get to be of an age where they can't get stuff handed to them, they give up. Plus I think a lot of kids are WAAAAY overindulged...I never had an allowance, and chores were things we just DID, because it was part of life. I was never bribed with money for good grades. If I wanted something, I had to make a concerted effort, and sometimes I'd fail. *shrugs*
I don't think enough parents are prepping their kids for REALITY.
Entitlement is probably one of the biggest problems attitude-wise with people. I've seen it time and time again and it just makes you miserable. People destroy themselves trying to "keep up with the Jones'" and it is one of the reasons why the economy is and has tanked.
AMEN. SRSLY.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 03:18 pm (UTC)I don't know if you've seen my "casual horseowner" gripings, but yeah .... There is a reason why I will never buy my kids (when they come) a "pony." I had to work for my first horse, they'll have to do the same. Certainly there will be horses that they can ride available, 'tis the nature of teaching riding lessons, you kind of need lesson horses, but they won't be handed the lead rope of a horse they didn't work for. Jumping backwards a generation, my mom didn't purchase any of her horses and guess who spends the most time with them and has to heckle her about working with them? *Coughmecough.* To be fair boarding them does pay for the feed of my horses, but seeing her spend an hour a day riding a bike or going out Kayaking instead of working with her horses ... I digress ...
I think my younger brother is also a victum of this coddling. We didn't receive any type of allowance until Tye and I were nigh unto working age and part of the reasoning behind us getting extra was that Tye would run errands for Mom's business and I did some inputing of receipts and checks and things. I think Tye had a job and I was getting close to it. Lance, four years behind me, essentially got handed money at an early age and I think we're experiencing the results of that. There was never any question about whether or not I would work while going to school (high school or college). Same for my older brother. Now we have a younger brother who isn't working, is going to school, has a nice car he never paid for (was supposed to), music equipment he never paid for (also was supposed to), has a 10k debt over his head (that grandpa picked up the tab for and now he owes grandpa) because he was an idiot and burned down his apartment because he aquired a smoking habit with his buddies and roomie (which was hopefully extinguished along with the fires of the apartment), and has no real direction, he's just going to school because it gets him insured *goes insane.*
Don't get me started on Chris' younger brother either, whom I worry my own brother might turn into, which would be rather scary if it came to pass. Granted, in Chris' brother's case it was beyond his parents control, the sense of entitlement didn't come until after his teen years, whereas my parents haven't been doing nearly enough to encourage Lance to have some sort of purpose in life (in a slight defense of my own brother, when he did have a job he didn't just laze about to my knowledge, but the jobs weren't particularly challenging either...).
All that said, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one noticing these things!
no subject
Date: 2009-04-16 04:18 pm (UTC)I see this too, and it angers me. Thus far only happened to me once, but...it sucks bad. I'm still pissed about it. Said person only HAS a job due to their relative being the boss. Being late for work FOUR OUT OF EVERY FIVE DAYS, nobody else would tolerate that shit. :P
I don't know if you've seen my "casual horseowner" gripings,
I haven't but then again I've been remiss. :P Might go back and look 'em up.
There is a reason why I will never buy my kids (when they come) a "pony."
I fully intend on buying Nate a pony...but it'll really be mine and he'll just be allowed to learn on it if he chooses. ;) If he puts in the work, he'll get a decent animal of his own...if not, I'll still have a delightful pony. XD
I must admit, I think we're on the right track with Nate. He likes instant gratification but accepts it if he has to work for what he wants, and he can also accept a "no." Like...if we're at the store, and he wants to buy something, and is told no...he cheerily accepts it and has even started occasionally saying "Maybe if I save up my money in my bank I can buy it someday!" Which is adorable. And fun as heck to see the looks on people's faces when THEIR four-year-olds are throwing tantrums because they, too, got told "no." XD
I think my younger brother is also a victum of this coddling. We didn't receive any type of allowance until Tye and I were nigh unto working age and part of the reasoning behind us getting extra was that Tye would run errands for Mom's business and I did some inputing of receipts and checks and things. I think Tye had a job and I was getting close to it. Lance, four years behind me, essentially got handed money at an early age and I think we're experiencing the results of that.
I must ask, and if I'm getting too personal just tell me to STFU.
I always resented Michael for being a lazy jerk who got everything just GIVEN to him...do you have any resentment issues? If so, how do you cope? I'm still struggling even though Michael is now dead these, what, two years?
Now we have a younger brother who isn't working, is going to school, has a nice car he never paid for (was supposed to), music equipment he never paid for (also was supposed to), has a 10k debt over his head (that grandpa picked up the tab for and now he owes grandpa) because he was an idiot and burned down his apartment because he aquired a smoking habit with his buddies and roomie (which was hopefully extinguished along with the fires of the apartment), and has no real direction, he's just going to school because it gets him insured *goes insane.*
That sounds very scarily so much like Michael. SERIOUSLY. D8
(in a slight defense of my own brother, when he did have a job he didn't just laze about to my knowledge, but the jobs weren't particularly challenging either...).
Michael got a job, too, shortly before he died. It was menial labour in a fast food joint but still, gainful employment...and he burned away every paycheque within hours of getting it. He'd buy shiny new video game controllers when he already HAD decent ones...cigarettes...booze and drugs. It was like if he had two cents to rub together he HAD TO SPEND IT RIGHT AWAY. I wonder sometimes if that was a symptom of the problem...when I was a kid I had to save up for stuff...these days I can be remarkably stingy when I need to scrimp or save. O.o
All that said, I'm glad to know I'm not the only one noticing these things!
You certainly aren't. My dad and I discussed it similarly not long ago.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-17 06:12 pm (UTC)If the "casual horseowner" remarks aren't here (they should be) you'll find them on the Backyardhorse community.
I fully intend on buying Nate a pony...but it'll really be mine and he'll just be allowed to learn on it if he chooses. ;) If he puts in the work, he'll get a decent animal of his own...if not, I'll still have a delightful pony. XD
And that's the way it should be. The pony would be yours, but he could use it if he wants. It's not like you're going to give the kid his own pony without him working for it and you're not going to be stuck with something you don't want because you bought it for him.
Aw, he sounds like an adorable and well-mannered kid. How many kids nowadays would be content with the possibility of working for the thing they want?
no subject
Date: 2009-04-17 07:31 pm (UTC)I may check that community out for sheer curiosity's sake. :)
Aw, he sounds like an adorable and well-mannered kid. How many kids nowadays would be content with the possibility of working for the thing they want?
I knoooow, I'm so proud of him. He's ungodly happy and mature for being four. :D My roommate had to watch him for a few minutes since J. and I had to load the car and it was cold out...she was a little leery since small children aren't her THANG, if you know what I mean.
She has a hard time relating to people who aren't at her intellectual level.
We got back inside to find her discussing computers with Nate. He was comparing and contrasting her desktop to his baby's-first-laptop, which he got for Christmas from his grandma. XD
no subject
Date: 2009-04-20 12:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-17 06:12 pm (UTC)Case in point: Easter Sunday Chris and I went over for dinner, right? My older brother and his little family were there along with his in-laws and a couple of good family friends. Lance wasn't there. Why? Oh, he was up at the river kayaking with friends. Whose truck was he using? Whose kayaks was he using? My parents. I confronted Dad about it and he said "Lance can make his own decisions/it's Lance's choice to make." I responded "It's your truck!" Egads, you don't have to enable behavior that you don't approve of!
It's just beyond me that in a family where we're supposed to "keep the Sabbath day holy" my parents are enabling him to break it by lending him their truck and boats. Not just on Sunday, but on EASTER SUNDAY. It's a holiday for crying out loud! He arrived well after dinner had started and we saw him a whole two minutes as he vanished upstairs and spent over an hour in the shower. Chris and I had to go before he resurfaced because, well, Chris has to go to work really early on Mondays.
Not that I think he should be force-fed values, but if you want to encourage someone to do something and show that you really do believe something, show some sort of stance about it and don't go encouraging others to do things that you wouldn't do yourself. Not to say either that anyone who goes boating or something on a Sunday is a sinner, but it wasn't even a family activity. It was just him and his friends, glutting off of my parents' (and my grandparents') blessings.
*Froths and flails.*
My question is: How quickly would he turn around if the following happened: He didn't receive money each week. He wasn't allowed to use the car (which he doesn't own) except for going to school, work, or church unless he had specific permission. Don't like it? Get your own car and pay your own insurance and gas money. Don't want to live at home? Get a job, get your OWN car. I still don't know why they didn't just say "sure, you can move out, but we want our car back" a year ago August. I'm sure that would have nipped it right in the bud and I doubt he would have moved out if he had to buy a car and pay for his insurance. Did I mention he has had some five tickets since he started driving? I remember that the rule was if we caused our insurance to jump up we'd be paying the difference. Is he paying the difference? No.
It just seems ridiculous for me to feel like I'd do a better job raising my brother than my own parents. Especially since they know and recognize that he's not on the right track. If I recall right in your brother's case he put up a pretty good ruse for your parents, correct?
But anyway! I think the short of that rambling is that I'm more upset with my parents that I am with my brother. He's being a dumb kid, we're all allowed that. But I don't think my parents are allowing him to fall and skin his knee (or even break a limb...), which I think is precisely what he needs. Consequences would really wake him up and cause him to reconsider what it is he has been doing.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-17 07:17 pm (UTC)Okay...if it was just a regular Sunday, that might not have been so bad...BUT EASTER??? I don't even recognise it as a holiday and I TOOK TIME OFF OF WORK TO DO NOTHING BUT WATCH NATE CONSUME CHOCOLATE. Holidays are time for family!!! DX
It just seems ridiculous for me to feel like I'd do a better job raising my brother than my own parents. Especially since they know and recognize that he's not on the right track. If I recall right in your brother's case he put up a pretty good ruse for your parents, correct?
For my mother and aunt and grandmother, yes. My dad had some idea but him trying to keep Michael on the straight-and-narrow made him look like the "bad guy" when everyone else in the kid's life was enabling and coddling him beyond belief. :P
But anyway! I think the short of that rambling is that I'm more upset with my parents that I am with my brother.
*nods* That seems fair. Have you tried explaining this to them, as it was worded here?
no subject
Date: 2009-04-20 01:09 pm (UTC)Have you tried explaining this to them, as it was worded here?
I've voiced some of it, but it seems I'm often fluffed off. I think she's worried about offending him or something, but again, you can't expect someone to consider he might be in the wrong if it's all smooth sailing and there's been no consequences and his parents still support everything .... I think Dad would come down a bit more if it weren't for Mom. My dad is a natural penny-pincher, but it's essentially Mom's money that is paying for most everything that is supporting Lance.
I do admit that I haven't confronted Lance directly about it, but I have let him know at least as far as school goes that he needs to figure out what he wants to do and stop wasting our parents' money.
Perhaps I just need to suck it up and let my thoughts be known.