lantairvlea | yeah, I could do that.

Just take up a "screw the world" attitude and just quit my job, quit school, and basically quit life. Gah, so much frustration. I want to just BE, is that too hard to comprehend? Let me BE as I wish it, allow myself to be as I would. Actions are so worthless when they're not backed by the mind. That's what I'm doing at work, actions. It's so frustrating knowing this. I can't believe I've allowed myself to become some sort of drone, just flip a switch and I'm in "Stupid Employee Mode." I hat that mode, I hate what it makes me at times. I don't want to be some stupid nameless employee making drinks for people who don't appreciate it and go on with their lives as if I were not a being to be recognised. I don't want to be nameless, escpecially while I'm still living.

Death to the majority, curse them. I hate the norm, it's so confining. Why should I bend to another's will? I do the things I do mostly because I WANT TO. There are very few things that I do, though they are more than I like, because I "have to." One being work. Well, not really work, but work at Jamba Juice. Okay, not to be railing on Jamba, but it is a GOOD place to work and the people there are AWESOME and it's really flexible, BUT I never feel as if I'm accomplishing anything. I can't wait until I'm teaching. Ug, that can't come soon enough. I want out of this pit. Only two more semesters of High School and it's meaninglessness. Some things about it are good, yes, but the whole scocial scene just makes no sense to me. Gah, fmeh, kill. Need to leave soon. Neh, I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything, and therefore it feels like I've accomplished nothing