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lantairvleaSomeone just give me a knife so I can cut out all these FLIPPIN' sores! RRRR! *Bares teeth fully in a grimace of pain.* It hurts, it friggin' hurts the piece of stuffing! I just want the pain gone, where's a local anesthetic? The constant pain punctuated by a sharp reminder that my mouth is one large open sore is driving me nuts. I want to lash out at something to work off this frustration, pain, and anger at having to stay behind, lock myself up so I don't push myself too far. I pressed myself to the breaking point last week, I could tell I was getting sick on Thursday, but no, I couldn't give in. I knew I had a massive fever Saturday night when Mickel was over, but did I tell anyone? Of course not, because it was my own demon to conquer, it couldn't interfere with anything else, not school, not work, not college. I couldn't miss any of it, I can't afford to.
Now all I can do is curl up in my ball and hiss through my teeth to attempt to ease the pain. It's so bad it even hurts to DRINK anything, let alone attempt to brush my teeth or swish and gargle! GAh, it has to be done, I have to beat this thing out of me, I can't succom to it as Lance did. He could afford to, he's in Jr. High, but I have a Job, I have College, I have my last year in High School to uphold on my shoulders.
I've had a break the past three days, maybe it was needed, but it wasn't welcome. I didn't really accomplish anything yet this week other than chew on the book I'm reading and do some sketches that have nothing to do with my portfolio.
Eyaaa, need to accomplish things tomorrow, I'm going to high school the first time this week, been going to college, I forced myself through that much. After school I have a doctor's appointment at 2.15, and hour into my work scheduel, Marilee said they'd hold out until I got back from it (if I'm not contageous, I hope not).
Well, if I've learned one thing about work this week it's that I'm appreciated and missed by them. Harr, Brian was officially fired so I'm thrilled . . . erm . . . sorry to see him go . . .? Seriously, I'm glad he's gone, the next time I saw him in the workplace . . . I don't know what my reaction would have been, I might have harmed him and had a lawsuit on my hands. Though in a small way it would have been worth it, considering his behavior on Saturday and the fact that I wasn't feeling 100% to begin with as I was attempting to beat back the first stages of this dreeded infection.
I'm pushing myself, no greater have I pushed myself before in school. It feels good to be so busy and occupied, I don't feel like I'm wasting myself, but these three days seem like I have been except for the hours I've been at college or looking up some 30-odd referrences (again) for English, why? Because he said that we can't use webpages for the paper . . . yet, so I have 24 websources I can't use yet and 30+ book sources (20 I snitched off of amazon, hehe).
I keep on thinking of Meht'hy'as. His name and image keep on coming to my mind, words, thoughts, it's strange, yet soothing. Maybe he appeared for a reason, to help me, crymedy, he helped me last night with Angi. I'll forgo lables and let him do what he sees fit. Meht'hy'as, my lovely mountain cat.
So, asside from all of that I suppose I'm doing okay. My mouth is making me rather miserable. Now pardon me as I attempt to eat a small portion of a cookie, brush my teeth, and have a shower before I collapse on my bed in preparation of High School tomorrow.
Now all I can do is curl up in my ball and hiss through my teeth to attempt to ease the pain. It's so bad it even hurts to DRINK anything, let alone attempt to brush my teeth or swish and gargle! GAh, it has to be done, I have to beat this thing out of me, I can't succom to it as Lance did. He could afford to, he's in Jr. High, but I have a Job, I have College, I have my last year in High School to uphold on my shoulders.
I've had a break the past three days, maybe it was needed, but it wasn't welcome. I didn't really accomplish anything yet this week other than chew on the book I'm reading and do some sketches that have nothing to do with my portfolio.
Eyaaa, need to accomplish things tomorrow, I'm going to high school the first time this week, been going to college, I forced myself through that much. After school I have a doctor's appointment at 2.15, and hour into my work scheduel, Marilee said they'd hold out until I got back from it (if I'm not contageous, I hope not).
Well, if I've learned one thing about work this week it's that I'm appreciated and missed by them. Harr, Brian was officially fired so I'm thrilled . . . erm . . . sorry to see him go . . .? Seriously, I'm glad he's gone, the next time I saw him in the workplace . . . I don't know what my reaction would have been, I might have harmed him and had a lawsuit on my hands. Though in a small way it would have been worth it, considering his behavior on Saturday and the fact that I wasn't feeling 100% to begin with as I was attempting to beat back the first stages of this dreeded infection.
I'm pushing myself, no greater have I pushed myself before in school. It feels good to be so busy and occupied, I don't feel like I'm wasting myself, but these three days seem like I have been except for the hours I've been at college or looking up some 30-odd referrences (again) for English, why? Because he said that we can't use webpages for the paper . . . yet, so I have 24 websources I can't use yet and 30+ book sources (20 I snitched off of amazon, hehe).
I keep on thinking of Meht'hy'as. His name and image keep on coming to my mind, words, thoughts, it's strange, yet soothing. Maybe he appeared for a reason, to help me, crymedy, he helped me last night with Angi. I'll forgo lables and let him do what he sees fit. Meht'hy'as, my lovely mountain cat.
So, asside from all of that I suppose I'm doing okay. My mouth is making me rather miserable. Now pardon me as I attempt to eat a small portion of a cookie, brush my teeth, and have a shower before I collapse on my bed in preparation of High School tomorrow.
