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lantairvleaIt's hard not knowing what to say. Cody's dad was killed in a wreck on Friday (or was it Thursday night?). I don't know what to say. I don't really know how to act in such a situation. I've never had anyone that close die.
Surely, I lost an uncle some years ago on my dad's side to cancer, though, I don't remember too much of him. I remember his voice, gruff and gravely. I remember something of his features, but it was something of ten years ago, I was only eight or ten, I don't quite remember which.
I just don't know how to relate to such loss. "I'm sorry," doesn't cut it. "I know how you feel," is a lie, though nearly loosing Appy once might have been close, I don't think it'd be the same as losing a parent. I've had dreams of my parents dying, yes. They were saturated with emotion and I felt the loss and the sorrow, but . . . I don't know. Dreams are dreams and last only for the night. Once I wake up I don't have to plan a funeral.
He dropped by briefly today, just to see the horses I think, probably clear his mind a little. We spoke a bit, though I had the feeling of being at a loss and not knowing quite what to say so my words dance about cautiously, wary of stepping in a spot too tender or place too sensitive.
Hmm, death. I almost, almost, wish I would have experienced it so I could relate better. Not feel so awkward and gangly when attempting to relate to those who have suffered loss. However, no matter the social awkwardness, I am grateful that life hasn't seen fit to deal that blow yet. It has chosen other trials to set me with.
Surely, I lost an uncle some years ago on my dad's side to cancer, though, I don't remember too much of him. I remember his voice, gruff and gravely. I remember something of his features, but it was something of ten years ago, I was only eight or ten, I don't quite remember which.
I just don't know how to relate to such loss. "I'm sorry," doesn't cut it. "I know how you feel," is a lie, though nearly loosing Appy once might have been close, I don't think it'd be the same as losing a parent. I've had dreams of my parents dying, yes. They were saturated with emotion and I felt the loss and the sorrow, but . . . I don't know. Dreams are dreams and last only for the night. Once I wake up I don't have to plan a funeral.
He dropped by briefly today, just to see the horses I think, probably clear his mind a little. We spoke a bit, though I had the feeling of being at a loss and not knowing quite what to say so my words dance about cautiously, wary of stepping in a spot too tender or place too sensitive.
Hmm, death. I almost, almost, wish I would have experienced it so I could relate better. Not feel so awkward and gangly when attempting to relate to those who have suffered loss. However, no matter the social awkwardness, I am grateful that life hasn't seen fit to deal that blow yet. It has chosen other trials to set me with.
